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Nothing, Really!

by Mark Gilday Jr.

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1.
Wet Cement 03:29
This is not what you had planned for So help me understand more About your broken hands Bending backwards in a painful Collapsing yellow train Full of empty plastic bags Pulling people off the train tracks Begging them to stay back Praying for a change Giving up or giving often? I refuse to close my coffin If a coward lies inside When I pressed my feet into the wet cement It didn't hurt I didn't stick I never bled I learned to see and hear and say the things That I had never said I learned to laugh at all those little things instead I learned to laugh at all the people In my head God, I hardly have the patience For awkward conversations About my bloody arms Laying paper on the table Expecting to be able To follow it along Well I've been here ever since this Familiar consequences Are all I comprehend Crawling out of the escape door Believe me that I'd stay for Anyone but them When I pressed my feet into the wet cement It didn't hurt I didn't stick I never bled I learned to see and hear and say the things That I had never said I learned to laugh at all those little things instead I learned to laugh at all the people In my head
2.
Tiger's Grin 03:17
Sting rays swim underwater But that is not the place you belong Sun dripping down from a carousel Seeping into my pockets And burning my palms Lead-bellied man with a tiger's grin Creeps and claws his way into town Hoping for a fast meal to satisfy All the cravings he's felt For the last several months Do you remember the songs We would sing in my car You would sing, I would scream at the top of my lungs I would whistle guitars You'd turn the interior into the drums I remember the way that the polish would chip on the nails Of her thumbs I remember the ones Flat-footed actual bastard He claws his way to the back of the bar Knowing well the things he is searching for Aren’t the things He wanted to find at the start Dim-witted past tense philosopher Fully equipped with smile and a nod Bearing gifts he stole from an officer Looking to profit Off of the lights on my car Do you remember the songs We would sing in my car You would sing, I would scream at the top of my lungs I would whistle guitars You'd turn the interior into the drums I remember the way that the polish would chip on the nails Of her thumbs I remember the ones This is not exactly how you thought it would go I know But it's gonna have to do Well if you find yourself In someone else's shoes Then I suggest you go and get your own Do you remember the songs We would sing in my car You would sing, I would scream at the top of my lungs I would whistle guitars You'd turn the interior into the drums I remember the way that the polish would chip on the nails Of her thumbs I remember the love
3.
I started a lemonade stand At the end of my driveway Because I know you ride your bike around here Every Sunday Please, oh please, oh please, oh God I hope today you’re thirsty Please, oh please, oh please, oh God I hope today you’re thirsty Because I can paint The colors of your helmet Without looking And I will wait For hours at this Lemon-laced diversion For your love The queen of hearts Was stuck in the spokes Of your back tire And I would listen for it daily To break up the silence In my at this point still working heartbeat Hoping you’d notice the stand And reach out your hand And ask for a cup I painted a masterpiece With my mother’s paintbrush I wrecked like half of it But it’s fine I can save us Please, oh please, oh please, oh God I hope that you can see me Please, oh please, oh please, oh God I wish that you could see me Because I can see The colors of your high-tops While I’m sleeping And I will trace The circles of the Motion of your pedals In the dark The queen of hearts Was stuck in the spokes Of your back tire And I would listen for it daily To break up the silence In my at the point still working heartbeat Hoping you’d notice the stand And reach out your hand And ask for a cup
4.
Start the car Let’s take a ride before it gets too dark I’ll turn the heat up Because you like when it’s hotter It can’t be more awkward than this Fix your hair Adjust the mirror until it’s perfectly paired With every single piece of English perfection Oh god your complexion is clear Stop for gas I really wish that we could all get past The regular unleaded things I’ve been screaming I hope you’ve been hearing them all I don’t want to I don’t want to start a fight I will start one tonight I don’t want to I don’t want to but I might I always wanted to You’re right Paint your nails You picked a color that is neutral and pale You’re wishing now that you had chose something brighter To showcase the fighter in you Seventeen I’m in Boston you’re in Aberdeen I’m exhausted from the internal bleeding I can’t just keep sleeping it off Call the cops Yeah let’s encourage them to take their shots At all the animals who can’t get a better grip I’ll let this sweater rip off I don’t want to I don’t want to start a fight I will start one tonight I don’t want to I don’t want to but I might I always wanted to Alright Are these clouds or are these mountains? Are these dashed or solid lines? The angel sitting next to me Is the devil in disguise I’d rather drink a pint of gasoline Than look into her eyes And tell her lies I’m telling lies I’m telling lies I’m telling lies I’m telling lies I never wanted to I never wanted to start a fight I always started them Alright I don’t want to I don’t want to start a fight I always started them Alright
5.
Four Dogs 03:14
Four dogs walking side by side All of them with the sun in their eyes But it’s fine We have nine times their life and we whine Gunner smiles he’s happy to be here He drinks from puddles and jumps to his feet when hears The sounds of her tires and gears A louder bark she can hear him from inside He can’t see colors But Gunner has colorful eyes Kinda makes her feel guilty For not taking him on the ride And he barks and begs and pleads with her just To hurl that yellow Penn So she finds the thing and she lets it fly And he brings it back and barks, “again?” So she hails one Mary of a tennis ball And challenges him to the task Well he’s back in two seconds With the ball in his teeth And a face like, “You thought that was fast?” We got four dogs walking by my side All of them with the sun in their eyes But it’s fine We have nine times their life and we whine Hunger building They wait for their dishes She makes them quickly She makes them so carefully too She’s their waitress every afternoon Benny spills some He’s known for his messes She cleans it patiently, scolding him in a friendly tone It only bothers her when he’s not home His brother Franklin is cleaner than Benjamin She can’t believe in him not to make fights in the yard Kinda makes him feel happy for not letting her get too far And he barks and begs and pleads with her just To hurl that yellow Penn So she finds the thing and she lets it fly And he brings it back and barks, “again?” So she hails one Mary of a tennis ball And challenges him to the task Well he’s back in two seconds With the ball in his teeth And a face like, “You thought that was fast?” We got four dogs walking by my side All of them with the sun in their eyes But it’s fine We have much longer lives
6.
7.
Ryan Gosling 02:06
Make of this what you will Because I’ll make it If you will Make believe that I’d kill for something I wouldn’t even bruise my shin for Because I know that things don’t happen Like we see them on the screen But I’d like to think That if I keep my shoes and clothes real clean That there’d be a way For me to say I want to find the girl in Gosling’s movies Thankfully I can build A better castle To take the place where hers fell It’s always taking me til Those credits roll And I remember That nothing ever happens Like we see it on the screen But that doesn’t mean That if I keep my shoes and clothes real clean I won’t have a chance To steal a dance With every single girl From Gosling’s movies Wasting pages again On some pessimistic plan I’ll wrap in plastic Oh I never leave my house Without a hope of finding her And also my chapstick Because I’m pretty sure That things don’t happen Like up on the screen But I’m also pretty sure That I really don’t know anything So if there comes a day When I see her face I’ll know it’s her Make no mistake And we’ll both live out the script Of a Gosling movie
8.
Sadie 03:20
Another summer cutting wood into race cars And then passing on to her for the paint jobs At the lake house in Westfield Both his hands are filled with pieces of toy cars And they used to be filled with the real parts Of the Chevy he’s carving Well his passion had been punched by an accident That had left his head in tact But not exactly as it had been Couldn’t refuse when presented with Sadie A no at first but eventually gave in To the life in her smile Sadie crouched and lept Right off the side of the handmade wooden boat And they know That Daniel would’ve brought them safely home But his own Body let him down And so she chose To follow where he goes Patricia didn’t know what had hit her Her final thoughts of her brothers and sisters Just what they were up to Spent her days at the bank with the numbers Kept a sketch book with drawings hid under Her files and faxes Had an eye for the colors and patterns In her clothes In her paints In her fashion She had the eyes of an artist Fell in love with her the minute he met her A saving grace that they parted together At the lake house in Westfield Sadie crouched and lept Right off the side of the handmade wooden boat And they know That Daniel would’ve brought them safely home But his own Body let him down And so she chose To follow where he goes The paint was almost dry On the wooden cars inside She squeezed his arm And closed her eyes And died
9.
Lion's Paw 03:59
A lion’s paw Well I winced a bit at the dried blood in my claws Never thought Your awful thorns would leave my awful palms And my arms feel hollow With the weight that’s finally gone You’re gone Oh my god I’m moving on A level head Knowing not to stick my hand in there again When you slept I felt I’d rather something tender, something red Something better Than the taste of candy cigarettes and lead Again and again Oh my God Not again Nine times out of ten I’m lying And the other one I’m hiding something Underneath my skin You’d be better off without me honey I can’t sleep without my money Tucked under my head There’s a voice I can hear But I forcefully avoid And employ The kind of mindset that I had That it’s not a choice It’s a choice To slither through her legs Without a noise Like a snake in her veins I’ll stay here because it’s warm Speak to me When you’ve slept between a liar and a thief And you need Just a little bit more room to keep your knees Oh please Give me just enough to shake the love And breathe I can’t breathe I can’t sleep I can hardly speak Nine times out of ten I’m lying And the other one I’m hiding something Underneath my skin You’d be better off without me honey I can’t sleep without my money Tucked under my head You’d be better off without me honey You’d be better off without me honey You’d be better off without me honey You’d be better off without me
10.
Memphis 02:39
Take me to Memphis Take me to Memphis Take me to Memphis And teach me how to dance I want to learn Take me to Memphis Take me to Memphis Take me to Memphis Let’s go Tennessee is in my arms I can bleed in different towns If a feeling isn’t lost If it is felt on different grounds Well I can deal out different cards Anyone can scream their thoughts A little help is hard to come by If it fixes you it’s art Take me to Memphis Take me to Memphis Take me to Memphis And teach me how to dance I want to learn Take me to Memphis Take me to Memphis Take me to Memphis Let’s go Throwing darts at foreign maps Aiming for that little patch In the corner with the hope Of landing somewhere in her past Is any plastic ever glass? If every magnet had it’s match Would all the laughter that we managed Convince you to move back It doesn’t get any harder than this It doesn’t get any harder Oh God, does it get any harder than this? It doesn’t get any harder than this It doesn’t get any harder Oh God, does it get any harder than this? Take me to Memphis Take me to Memphis Take me to Memphis And teach me how to dance I want to learn Take me to Memphis Take me to Memphis Take me to Memphis Let’s go City bus seats interfere With the romantics inner fear That every mile is a mile That’ll gradually tear us Let her catch me in a stare As she packs up any tears I could’ve held back With a laugh or something Splash into the air Take me to Memphis
11.
Gate 23 03:29
While waiting to fly I started to cry at Gate 23 At the airport in San Diego She’s waiting for me “Stop following me!” she calls from the wing I could hear it from my window Well if you could get that Then you would get why I’m leaving Well if you could get that Then you would get where I’ve been Well if you could get that Then you would get why I’m leaving Well if you could get that Then you would get where I’ve been It was wrong It was wrong when I started it all Looking back it was actually her in my car I guess I don’t believe in the devil I bled it out in the clouds in airplane Looking out at the person I shattered into (in two) I guess that’s why they call it a “red eye” I can’t imagine What it’s like on your side I can’t imagine what it’s like Not to lie I can’t imagine What it’s like on your side I can’t imagine what it’s like Not to lie If you’re up And you’re wondering where I am that’s enough Can’t you understand I don’t work like a person Give it up Give it up if you know what is good For your self And your bones And your sensitive eyes Someday I won’t be a monster I feel guilt more than I feel love I feel guilt more than I feel love I feel guilt more than I feel love I feel guilt more than I feel love I feel guilt more than I feel love I feel guilt more than I feel love

about

Nothing, Really! is the debut album by Mark Gilday Jr.

credits

released November 27, 2013

All songs written and performed by Mark Gilday Jr.
Recorded and mixed by Callum Plews in Boston, Massachusetts. Analog Candle | www.analogcandle.com
Mastered by Nick Dragoni at M Works in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

© 2013 Mark Gilday Jr.

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Mark Gilday Jr. New Hampshire

I do the acoustic guitar thing. Thanks for listening.

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